There are many different reasons as to why someone wants to have affairs with married women. One common reason is that you may not be ready for a monogamous relationship and therefore there is usually no type of attachment when having affairs with married women. However finding married women to have affairs with is not that easy. So with some minor helpful tips you can be successful in having an affair with a married woman.
Here’s the scenario: You’re sitting in a bar, relaxing over a drink after a long day’s work next to an incredibly hot, sexy woman, and you’re having a fun and playful conversation. You’re really hitting it off with her, and soon she is really coming on to you, very sexually, like no woman has ever before. You almost can’t believe that it’s happening.
She then whispers in your ear that she’d love to spend the night with you, just as a one-shot deal. You think to yourself, “All right, one-night stand. That sounds like it could be great fun.”
As you leave with your new one-night-stand-to-be, just before getting into your car, she looks at you and says, “I’ve got to let you know something: I’m married. The marriage is not going well, and I’m planning on leaving him soon, but in the meantime, I just really want to have some hot, great sex with you.”
So you turn the ignition. You put the car into drive. You pause and think. Now what do you do? Do you head back to your place for a night of passionate fun, or do you turn to her and say you’ll drive her home because you don’t have affairs with married women?
I’ll be honest. On a purely physical level, most men are going to enjoy their affairs with married women. You are basically serving as her outlet, so a married woman is usually amazing when she chooses you as her victim. You’re bringing out her inner tigress. You’re unlocking a woman full of sexual desire who is not getting her needs met at home, so of course the one night of sex is going to be unbelievably great. There are no strings attached to it, either, so it’s just fantastic sex with seemingly no consequences.
When I was in my 20s, I slept with a few married women. How did it feel afterward? It felt like a conquest. I felt great, like I had tasted the forbidden fruit. But as I got a bit older, as I started to understand the value of relationships, I started thinking to myself, “What if this woman was mywife. What if she was my girlfriend? What if she was the woman who was the mother of my kids?” How would I feel if my girlfriend or my wife was getting into a stranger’s car to go off and have hot, wild sex with him?
The truth is that there is a moral issue in affairs with married women that you will have to deal with eventually. I truly believe that when it comes down to it, our morals are our own and only you can decide what is right for you. I’m not here to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong. But I know from personal experience that it can be a difficult decision to make when you’re in that situation. The scenario is a common one, whether the married woman comes onto you in a local bar, your co-worker’s wife asks to sneak off with you at the office party, you’re letting loose on vacation with friends, or maybe you’re at a convention on a business trip. It doesn’t matter how the occasion presents itself. Chances are that at some point you will run into a married woman who’s looking to play. Cheating is rampant.
How do you decide whether to conduct affairs with married women? That’s next…
I’ve cheated on women, and I’m sure I’ve been cheated on. When there’s an unhappy or unsatisfied element in a relationship, whether emotional or physical, it’s common for one partner to go looking outside of the relationship to satisfy their needs. The idea of having a hot, passionate, sexual affair with married women is tempting, and it’s a great fantasy. But in my experience, you’re putting yourself in a compromising situation that’s best left alone.
Now you may be saying to yourself: “Well, if she doesn’t get it from me, she’s going to get it from someone else.” I say, let her get it from someone else. One night of passion sounds great, but there are too many repercussions. I have done it. I have experienced it. And if you want to know more about it, I will write more on that another time. But morally, it was just not the right thing for me to do. Sure, the night of sex you have may be great. The after-effects mean nothing at the time, but what if this married woman actually develops feelings for you, or vice versa? Not only that, what if you are actually acquaintances with her husband? What if her husband is actually a guy you work out with at the gym or a guy you do business with? What if there are children involved, and her affair with you leads to a strain on the marriage, and then a strain on the children?
Even if you’ve never been married, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Eventually, you will be in a relationship. Eventually, you may get married. And, eventually, you may have issues in your own marriage. Eventually, it may be your wife looking to go to bed with a hotter, sexier man. So my personal advice is to resist the temptation, resist your own urges to have affairs with married women. Take it from experience.
If it seems too hard for you to resist the temptation of a sexy woman who is eager to be with you, you need to develop a stronger mindset. The fact of the matter is that there are plenty of amazing single women out there who would love to have sex with you right now. No-strings-attached sex can be a great experience. But true no-strings-attached sex means that you can actually have a clear conscience and do whatever you want both before and after the sex, and you don’t have to be sneaky about it. You’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll feel better about the decision the next day.
Believe it or not, the most safest and easiest way to find married women to have affairs with can be done right from the comfort of your own home. There are a few websites online that are exclusively geared for men seeking affairs with married women. The way it works is that the married women create a profile on these websites seeking out men to actually have affairs with. This makes it easy for the man seeking a married women because he can easily browse through the large amount of profiles that are listed on the website for an ideal match.
What I have with Tom makes domestic life more bearable
Tessa, 38, a solicitor, has been with her partner Jonathan, 42, a sales executive, for 13 years. They have a son together. For the last year she has been involved in an ongoing affair with a work colleague, Tom, also 38.
“Most of our friends would assume Jonathan and I are pretty happy. We laugh together, and we’re affectionate. But since having Leo*, our sex life is non-existent, and our relationship is more like sister and brother.
“I’d grown to accept it, focusing my energies on our son. Then Tom came back into my life. We first met eight years ago when he came to work in my office. As a still-exhausted mother, a work flirtation was the last thing I was expecting, yet there was this intense spark and a genuine friendship. Our regular trip to get coffee became the highlight of my day and I realised I started choosing my outfits with him in mind. We flirted a lot, and, finally, on a work night out we ended up kissing passionately around the back of a pub. I told him it couldn’t go any further and, when he got a new job, I felt it would save me from a lot of emotional torture.
“Then, last year, he returned to my company. By then he was married, with a baby, yet within a month we’d become involved. This time Tom was more direct: after two weeks of loaded emails and meaningful glances, he asked to talk to me after work one evening, and that was it. It sounds so trite, but we couldn’t help ourselves – years of pent-up passion came out.
“Now I’ve been catapulted into all the clichés of an affair – the hastily deleted texts, the stolen moments. Tom and I snatch time together whenever we can. We usually get a few hours in a hotel room every few weeks, but the rest of it is brief encounters – half an hour at lunchtime in a remote cafe; the occasional snog in the lift, springing apart when the doors open like some scene from a bad sitcom.
“I hate myself for it. I get home to Jonathan’s trusting face after being with Tom and I can barely look at myself. Yet I can’t seem to stop it, either. I’m completely torn between the Tess who loves being a mum and wife, and the Tess who wants to throw it all away. But sometimes it feels as though what I have with Tom helps to make the mundane part of domestic life more bearable. I’ve told one friend – she’s understanding, but tells me there’s no way out of it without someone getting hurt. I know she’s right.”
“I was contacted out of the blue by the ex that got away”
Monica*, 37, a teacher, has been married for nine years to Rory*, 36, an accountant. They have two children aged six and four. She had a year-long affair with an old flame who got in touch on Facebook.
“Looking back, I was completely ripe for an affair. Over the years the stresses of domestic life had taken their toll on my marriage to Rory. It felt like the only conversations we had were about the school run and taking out the bins. We’d spend the evening in separate rooms – he’d work, while I’d surf the net. That’s how I got chatting to Sam*. We had dated at school for two years, then he dumped me when he left for university. I was heartbroken, and we hadn’t stayed in touch, although I’d heard he’d got married. Now here he was, divorced, telling me I hadn’t changed a bit. After weeks of emails, we agreed to meet up.
“I knew this was dangerous territory, and the minute I walked into the bar and saw him sitting there I thought, ‘Oh no’ because I knew what was going to happen. Sam had hardly changed from when I last saw him 20 years ago. Within an hour we were kissing. But when I got home that night and saw Rory, I didn’t feel guilty. All I could think about was seeing Sam again. The usual stuff happened – clandestine meetings and exciting sex, followed by tortured conversations about what we would do, not to mention returning home to two small, innocent children. My youngest was only two then; every time I saw his face I’d feel a lump in my throat.
“The guilt steadily grew, but I convinced myself I’d married the wrong person and Sam was my soul mate. I decided to end my marriage, but ultimately my hand was forced: I’d mistakenly left my mobile behind while out shopping and Rory, who had been growing suspicious, checked my messages. When I returned and saw his face, I knew he knew. There were lots of tears and Rory left me that night. It was horrible, but at first I saw it as the opportunity I needed.
“Sam and I agreed not to rush into anything for my children’s sake, but we continued to meet. Seeing their confusion, however, broke my heart, and Sam didn’t help: he had very little patience with them. Slowly, the image I had of our new life together disintegrated. When Rory suggested counselling, I was willing to try. A year later, we’re giving our marriage another go. There was a time when all I thought about was Sam, but now I see how close I came to throwing away everything that really mattered.”
“I can’t imagine having sex with the same man for the rest of my life”
Elizabeth*, 32, a press officer, has been married for three years to Tim*, a doctor, also 32. She has had two short flings.
“The other night I had one of those stomach-lurching moments during dinner with a friend. She was talking about infidelity, referring to it as the most fundamental betrayal of trust. I was nodding along, while thinking that if she had any idea about what I’d been up to she’d be horrified. During my three-year marriage I’ve already been unfaithful twice, unable to resist the excitement of a new encounter.
“The first was with a friend, whom I fell into bed with six months after I got married and saw a couple of times subsequently. It started when both our partners were away; we got drunk and admitted that we’d always fancied each other, and ended up in bed. We both knew it was a silly fling, and the fact we were good friends made it easier to stop it. The second, a year later, was totally different – it was with a stranger I met at a work conference. We slept with each other the night we met and a few times afterwards. It was just sex, though. Both times the affairs fizzled out without anyone getting hurt.
“The fact is, the things people assume about those having affairs don’t apply: I still fancy my husband, and we have a good sex life. But there’s no question that sex is different with someone new. It’s not always technically as good – Tim knows exactly what I like – but the thrill of those first encounters is unique.
“Part of me craves it, and I think that relates to childhood insecurity. I was a late bloomer. I only started getting male attention in my 20s and it became a bit of an addiction. A small part of me enjoys the risk, too, and having a side of my life no-one knows about.
“If you saw me you’d never guess I was the ‘type’ to have affairs. But I’ve been shocked by how easily the deception has come to me. I’m able to compartmentalise and separate my indiscretions from the main part of my life. That doesn’t mean I’m without guilt. There are times, snuggled up in my husband’s arms, when I think, ‘Why am I doing this?’. I tell myself it won’t happen again, yet deep down I know I can’t promise. The thought of only sleeping with one man for the rest of my life, no matter how much I love him, gives me a heavy heart.’
SPOTTING THE DANGER SIGNS
Relationship counsellor Gladeana McMahon explains why women stray.
1. The reappearing ex
‘Work out why you have these feelings for an ex. Maybe he had traits your partner doesn’t? But remember you split up with him for a reason.’
2. The thrill of someone new
‘Can you make changes to your current relationship to make it more exciting? Try to step outside your comfort zone and take up a new shared interest or hobby together.’
3. Domestic drudgery
‘In a rut? Not enjoying quality time together? Communicate how you’re feeling – he may feel the same and sharing this will unburden you both.’
4. A sex life that’s off the boil
‘If you aren’t satisfied, gently tell him – or better still, show him. Most men are surprisingly open to suggestions, particularly if it surprises them by shaking up the routine.
5. Fear of monogamy
‘This is one to deal with through counseling to get to the bottom of any issues you have about commitment. Otherwise you risk sabotaging any future relationships.’
Name has been changed.
Of course the man seeking affairs with married women will also need to create a profile in order to contact these married women. From these social websites the married women and men can learn about each other as well as send messages to one another in order to communicate and possibly set up a meeting date. This is a really safe way to start affairs with married women as contacting one another will be more private and both parties can remain discreet.
I am a late 30′s married, educated, professional , handsome male and I have had numerous affairs. Right or wrong, it is what it is. The following is a list of must-do’s if you plan on having an affair and not getting caught. All of the following are based on firsthand lessons learned:
1. Date/sleep with only people who are also married. Single men/women are nothing but trouble. While the logistics may be easier, they are never satisfied with the amount of time you can spend with them, they become jealous of your significant other, and they have nothing to lose and generally do not care much about getting caught. And, unless they are perfectly willing to date you despite the fact you are married, it involves creating elaborate lies about being separated and all that nonsense. That’s not to mention the fact that once your single lover finds out you’re lying, they usually go straight to your spouse to “get even”. Other married people offer protection in that they also generally do not wish to be found out. Not to mention the fact that there is a reasonable expectation amongst the two of you that responsibilities may make either of you unavailable. Cancellations are not held against you like they are with single people.
2. Never use your own home or the other person’s home for your activities. While it may be more expensive, there is zero chance of your significant other walking in on you if you are in a hotel with the door locked. No surprise returns at the last minute to worry about. Additionally, having your lover in your home inevitably means there is evidence left behind. The scent of them in your bed, a hair that is a different color than your spouse’s, a forgotten item of clothing.
3. When arranging for a hotel, never use your credit card to reserve it. Hotels will often tell you “the card is only used to hold the room, no charges will be made.” Inevitably, some retard at the hotel runs the card mistakingly or they use it after you have stayed there to cover anything you didn’t settle up on (parking, a phone call, whatever). Once your significant other sees a hotel charge on the card, the gig is up. Instead, slowly withdraw cash over the course of weeks (so as not to draw attention) and keep it in a secret place to pay for your rooms in cash. Reserve the room using a pre-paid debit card or go to the hotel in person to make the reservation and pre-pay it with your cash. If you are having a regular get-together with your lover, try to use the same place over and over. Develop a relationship with the staff. Hotels will only let you check in after 3pm. Most early check-ins are at 1pm. If you are meeting during the day and need it earlier than that, call ahead and tell them you are travelling and need a room to participate in a conference call or to prepare for an event that takes place early in the day.
4. Become more adaptable when it comes to traditional female-male roles. Don’t be afraid to split the costs of outings, hotels, meals. It’s easier for each of you to explain a $25 lunch than it is for one of you to explain the $50 lunch. Paying for the $140 hotel room is easier to hide if you each pay half. While women may expect men to cover most things, and men may feel a sense of responsibility to do so, your chances of being discovered decrease if you remain flexible.
5. Adapt the Osama Bin Laden communication methodology. That is, absolutely no texting or phone calls on your cell. Instead, create an anonymous yahoo or gmail account and access it ONLY when you are at work. Never email from home, it’s just not worth it. There are too many keystroke programs out there that record what you have typed that can easily be installed without your knowledge.
6. Delete, delete, delete. This means everything. Delete all emails from your lover, even if they have photos you want to keep. Delete all your sent emails. Delete your deleted emails. Delete the history each and every time you use the computer. I learned this the hard way when one of my lovers saved her favorite saucy emails despite telling me she was deleting and her significant other busted her with a keystroke program and got into her email account by finding her password (yes, she used her home computer).
7. Always pay in cash for everything that you do together. Dinners, lunches, outings, EVERYTHING. It’s not very hard to figure out that the lunch you claim to have had by yourself in town should not have cost $75 when it shows up on your credit card.
8. Adapt a policy of working out, dressing well, and wearing cologne/perfume every day. Nothing stands out to your significant other like a sudden need to change your appearance and/or the way you present yourself. It’s called “change detection”. Like a cop who patrols the same beat every day and expects the area to look a certain way, he will quickly notice any change. If you are a slob most every day of the week, and all of the sudden you are going “to lunch with an old friend” and you are dressed to the nines and smelling great, your significant other will get suspicious. If you gradually start to make yourself presentable EVERY day, they won’t think there is anything amiss.
9. Don’t save momentos or tokens that remind you of your lover. No panties, no t-shirts, no jewelery, NOTHING. If you don’t have anything to be discovered, you never have anything to explain.
10. Always shower after meeting with your lover. This is obvious. While it may not be obvious to you, the scent of another woman/man is a dead giveaway and very noticeable to your significant other. This is especially true with women. They can detect even the perfume of another woman that you did nothing more than embrace for a prolonged period of time. If you have a shower at your workplace, use it after meeting. If you meet at a hotel, always take one before going back to work or home.
So going to the bar and clubs in search of married women is the thing of the past. Trying to find a married woman other than online may pose a real danger to the man looking to have affairs with married women. Plus you will be wasting less time by using a website to meet married women because you automatically know that these women are wanting to have an affair. It is a lot more time consuming going out into the public trying to find a married woman who is in search of an affair. So save yourself tons of time by using an online affair website that will match you up with married women who are seeking an affair.